Posted by Tony F on Dec 31, 2011 in
Uncategorized So I have Liam asleep, Anna and her mother are watching Harry Potter and I am about to write a quick piece on the year that is now coming to an end and a look forward to 2012.
Anna and Liam, Thanksgiving 2011
The highlight of 2011 had to be the birth of our beautiful baby boy Liam. His entrance in to this world was a miraculous moment and one we will never forget. As we waited patiently in the hospital on that Tuesday in June, we could never have imagined how Liam would have such an incredible impact on our lives. We love and adore him so much and our days and nights are completely centered around him. He has given us something we never knew existed and for that we are truly blessed and eternally grateful. Over the past seven months Liam has captured the hearts of many family and friends. I joke that he is the most photographed kid on Facebook. Everything about him is amazing and he has a smile that would brighten up the darkest of days. I hope and trust that the world he grows up in will be a more tolerant and peaceful one. We love him to pieces and thank God for giving him to us.
I also got married in October of this year to Anna and this was to be the happiest day of my life. Having met Anna in late 2009, I knew that this woman was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. She understood me, supported me, encouraged me and more importantly accepted me for who I was. I believe we all have a role to play in this life and we all have some cross to bear. This woman allows me the space and freedom to express myself especially on my blog and for this I am very grateful. She is an incredible mother to Liam and to see his little face light up when she comes in the room, is a sight for sore eyes. Her mother currently lives with us having had some very serious illnesses of late. She cares for her incredibly well and her attention to detail when looking after her is second to none. Anna is one in a million and I love her dearly.
My Favourite
On a sad note, a very good friend of mine passed away in August. Frank Dolan was one of life’s true gentlemen and departed this world way too early. I first got to meet Frank back in Limerick in1986. Frank was an incredibly talented musician and a man very humble when speaking of that talent. He was also a great man to debate a point and we would spend many hours talking about all sorts of topics especially music. They say that the sign of a good person is their ability to not say any bad words about others. Frank certainly fits into that category. He leaves behind a beautiful wife Christy and a fantastic mother Pearl. I look forward to the day when we will meet again.
Me and Frank, La Jolla Beach Ca
The Frattaroli family welcomed another new arrival into their ranks with the birth of my sister Anne Marias beautiful baby girl, Faith Anne. If anyone deserves to be a mother it is her. She has endured her own hell over the past number of years but at last has found incredible happiness both with Mike and Faith. I often refer to Anne Maria as the Janice Soprano of our family.
I look forward to 2012 with great excitement and anticipation. I am writing my first book and this is something that will answer a lot of questions for me. I do it with the full support of my wife and also do it with the knowledge that it is the right thing to do. This year was a fantastic year for our family and next year will be a fantastic year for our ambitions. That I am fully convinced.
So to all my many friends and family, including my mam and dad, who have believed in me and supported me over the past number of years, I thank you all sincerely. I hope 2012 will bring you all the happiness and peace you all truly deserve.
Posted by Tony F on Dec 24, 2011 in
Uncategorized I wrote this piece back in Sept 2009. I didn’t post it on my blog then, but for some strange reason I woke up today and decided to put it up. As I was lying in bed and looking forward to our first Christmas with Liam, it made me realize how my life has changed incredibly for the better and how the giving of friendship helped me to be in this wonderful place I am in today. For me Christmas is simply about giving of oneself to others for nothing in return. Its for families to spend time together and for doing the small things for people who are less well off than ourselves.
To Anna and Liam, I love you both dearly and thank you for this beautiful thing we call “La Mia Famiglia”
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When one looks back over their life, I bet many of us have had days that we simply want to never happen again. I am not talking about the bad hair days or the trouble in the office. I am talking about dark, shitty, bleak, lonely, depressing days in our life when we feel that this is it. This is the day of reckoning and what’s the point anymore. Our head simply cannot take another second of the torment.
On a Tuesday in early September 2009 I hit my rock bottom. I ended up in a place that I never want to go again. Seven months of intense pressure finally gave way and I was staring into a bottomless black hole and all I wanted to do was die. I did not want to do harm to myself, but I felt that the life hereafter had to be better than where I was at that moment in time. I had endured seven months of intense pressure and stress brought on by others and I finally could not cope any longer.
I went to see my doctor and when I started to share where I was at, I could not stop crying. I was like a little baby. I tried to explain where I was mentally and physically but simply could not get the words out. The more I tried the worse I became. It was awful. I felt like never wanting to do anything again and everything around me seemed dark and depressed. I wanted all the pain to disappear and start to feel normal again. I felt abandoned by everyone and everything, even though that was not the case. I felt that here I was discarded in a heap and nothing left only a pathetic man whose life had been turned upside down by others while they continued doing the normal things in life. I kept sobbing and staring at the carpet in her room and my doctor tried to comfort me. I had been broken down, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually! I had been stripped bare. I needed someone or something to help me and take the pain away. I had hit the bottom of the pile and I had nothing left in the tank.
My doctor was concerned and wanted to hospitalize me but I just wanted to be hugged, loved, understood and to be at peace with myself. I knew what caused this but was powerless to do anything about it. I have a very strong belief in God and have an understanding of spirituality that works for me and I begged him to help me. I questioned why he would do this to me and what was the reason behind this. The fact that I am alive today and writing this is a testament to that belief. God did not abandon me! If he did I would have wasted away last Tuesday. End Of!
With the help of a great family and loyal bunch of friends I managed to get through the night. I knew if I made it through, then it had to get better and it did. The following 48hrs I spent talking to my doctors and started to believe I could turn this around. I had to let go of worrying about other people and stop trying to second guess them. I made some small decisions which would have an effect straight away and once made, I felt better. I went for a walk with my doctor and we started to get to the root of the problem. I felt a weight starting to lift and I started to see a glimmer of hope. All the while I had been getting encouragement from friends and this was tremendous. There was one more thing that needed to be done and I faced it head on and dealt with it. I had now put Tony first and I had become selfish.
Almost a week later I felt a bit stronger in many departments. I felt that I could now deal with what had been thrown in front of me and the things I cant, well, I was going to let somebody else worry about them.
I continue to be grateful for the friends who supported me, gave me a bed, listened to me and were there when I needed them. I was in such a low state that I could not even see it. I am also extremely grateful for having a God in my life who carried me through this and will continue to be with me wherever I finally end up.
As I plan the next chapter of my life I do so in the knowledge that my darkest days are behind me. My life cannot get any lower so the only way is up……….
Written Sept 2009
Posted by Tony F on Dec 18, 2011 in
Uncategorized
With an enormous amount of Gratitude,
—————————————————————
I wondered why, I wondered how,
I wondered when it would ever change.
I read the lies and saw all the deceit,
Still wondering when it would ever change.
———————————————————————
They broke my spirit and tried to take my soul,
They left me in a heap like a mouse in a hole.
They wore me down until I could take no more,
And I cried and I cried like a baby on the floor.
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Now he made me special and he made me great,
He made me with a resolve and told me not to hate.
He guided my friends to help me out,
With a bed, some company and a place to shout.
—————————————————————————
Now my guardian angel has guided me to stay,
In a place so serene and a bed to lay.
She says, T dont give up and never forget,
Why he made you special like me and the rest.
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Today the sadness becomes joy while the darkness becomes light,
Today I dont have to worry about my terrible plight.
Today my new journey begins and my head is now clear,
With nothing to prove and with nothing to fear.
————————————————————————
I wake every morning with with such joy in my life,
With my son, my health and a beautiful wife.
Today I HAVE stopped wondering when it will ever change.
It simply has!
Ciao…
T.
Posted by Tony F on Dec 2, 2011 in
Uncategorized
I remember when I was a young boy going to school, our religion teacher would talk to us about Guardian Angels. This was to be the one Angel each and every one of us had and who would personally look after us on a daily basis. To be honest, I did not take much notice of it as I felt I did not need looking after. What I failed to realize was, that it was looking after me from a spiritual point of view and this would then be transformed to my life here on earth. Some years later I was to find my Guardian Angel and I wanted to write about it for some time. However like most things in life there is a right time and a wrong time for everything. Today is the right time as it marks the fifth anniversary of her passing.
My closest friends daughter Cliona was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 1998. Cliona was loved and admired by all her family, friends, neighbours and the wider community for the courage and good humour with which she faced her illness and its treatment. Cliona simply loved life and loved people! She also had an incredible relationship with God as I believe most people who face these terrifying moments in their lives do. On this day (Dec 2nd 2006) Cliona lost her very brave battle against her illness. She was just sixteen years old.
I remember sitting by her bedside in the hospital before her passing and feeling very connected to God. There was an incredible feeling of joy and happiness in the room, even though it was a very sad moment publicly. I felt that all would be ok but could not quite put my finger on it. I would talk to her about all sorts of things but loved talking to God through her. This was to be the catalyst. I knew then that Cliona had a direct connection spiritually and whatever the outcome in her life would be, she would go on to do incredible work.
Even though her passing to the next life was incredibly sad and devastating for her family and friends, I knew straight away that I now had someone to intercede for me with a higher power. I believe Cliona got a pass straight to heaven as her work was now only beginning. I remember then thinking back to my teacher and the Guardian Angel lesson. I had now found mine and she was going to look after me no matter what. I would pray to her on a daily basis and ask for guidance and direction. This would come in many shapes and forms but I would always be guaranteed an answer. Now sometimes the answer was not what I wanted to receive, but nonetheless it was the correct one. I believe Cliona would intercede for me with God and this in return would be passed back to me.
There have been many times over the past number of years when she would guide and watch over me. I would pray to her and ask for help and it would happen. I always feel she is very close to me like actually sitting on my shoulder, guiding me through the rocky moments in my life. She really worked overtime for me during a very low point in my life over two years ago. I endured a very traumatic experience but thankfully it is now well and truly behind me. When I hit rock bottom on the 4 th September 2009 and simply lost the will to go on, I ended up staying at her house with her parents. They had asked me if I would like to sleep and stay in her old room. I was both honored and privileged to accept and once there, immediately felt very safe and comfortable. I felt an enormous warmth there and an incredible spiritual presence. I felt even closer to her and to God. I started to sleep properly again and started to find the right answers in my life. Every morning I would wake up, I would have a terrible knot in my stomach. I would ask her for assistance and each day that knot loosened until it finally disappeared. She began to guide me along the right path and she helped me make very tough decisions. These decisions would eventually release me of the many troubled moments in my life. Cliona was with me every step of the way. I spent four weeks there and it gave me the springboard to start to put a lot of things behind me and look forward to a new life with happiness and joy. Cliona had guided me to that moment and its an incredible experience to have witnessed. She had asked God to help me and he duly did. I firmly believe that she, like all who have gone before us have his ear so to speak. They vouch for us and they look after us. Simply put, its brilliant! I have no doubt that God takes people from this life to the next for a reason. Cliona was no exception.
After her passing, Clionas parents set up a foundation in her name.The Cliona Ring Foundation provides financial assistance to families from Ireland who have children undergoing long-term medical treatment for serious illness. Funds raised are not to be used to pay for the child’s actual medical care; rather, donations are made to families for other “hidden” costs, including hotels, restaurants, petrol and other miscellaneous expenses incurred by families who must take sick children to hospitals or other medical facilities for frequent treatments.
The Foundation is unique in that it focuses completely on non medical assistance for the entire family during a child’s treatment and recovery. They have done tremendous work in her name and have helped so many deserving families. Please check it out, www.clionaringfoundation.com
As I write this blog I am sitting under her picture in my room. I feel her pressence everywhere I go and I feel very safe in that knowledge. I am sure there are times when she simply says “T, what are you up to now?” One thing I am sure of is that she will never leave me alone.
Cliona to me is one of Gods special angels and my Guardian Angel. She will continue to look after me and for that I am eternally grateful. It was a privelage to have known her here on this earth and I look forward to the day when I meet her in heaven because that’s where she now is right now.
Thanks a million my little friend,
T.
Posted by Tony F on Nov 25, 2011 in
Uncategorized
Its 7.30am and I am sitting here drinking a nice cup of coffee watching my son Liam sleeping in his swing. The sun is about to break through and the weather man said it should hit 22 Celsius today. Not bad heh! Anyway, as I sit here and look around, I wonder how many of us are actually happy and content with our lives.
This is a question that I have asked myself on many occasions. When I was growing up in Southill, all I wanted to be was a Rock Star and/or a wealthy businessman. This to me would have brought me bundles of joy and happiness (not to mention cash) or so I thought. As the years progressed and as I got a little bit wiser, my ideas shifted and changed. I suppose this was to be expected as life changing experiences do this to you. For instance when I was lying paralysed in a hospital bed not knowing whether I would walk again. For me the only way I could ever be happy was if I was able to get out of the bed and walk. Then there was something else and after that something else. This is life as we know it, so our ideas and thoughts are constantly changing.
Ask the two million starving infants in East Africa what would make their lives happy or the many homeless people who have no shelter. I suppose we all know what their answer will be. For me happiness is a state of mind that exists when the underlying factors are love, a feeling of being wanted, gratefulness and a reason to get out of bed and embrace the day ahead. Its not about having truck loads of cash or how many cars are in the driveway, because we can only drive one at a time. Its about making a difference in the lives of those who are less well off, enjoying the day as best we can, appreciating what we have, including those whom we love and being happy within yourself.
At this moment in my life I am the happiest and most contented I have ever been, due in no small part to a beautiful wife and son. Long may it continue!
Finally if you get the opportunity, go out and do something good for someone today. You may be surprised as to how happy you may feel too. I certainly will.
Ciao…….
T.
Posted by Tony F on Nov 21, 2011 in
Uncategorized The morning of Tuesday the 7th June 2011 and the subsequent 24 hours, changed our lives forever. At 6.15 am, I remember Anna saying to me “its time, I think we need to go to the hospital”. Now I had everything ready, the bags, the clothes, the neighbors ready to deal with the dogs and I thought nothing would faze me. How wrong was I! I started running around like a headless chicken. Up and down the stairs to let the dogs out, then came back up to find Anna all relaxed getting ready for the hospital. She was so calm it was unreal. Anyway I loaded up the car including the dogs (I dropped them at the kennels enroute) and headed to the hospital. I had called Suzanne (Anna’s sister) to let her know that the time was now, as we had wanted her to be with us for the big event and she was going to meet us at the hospital.
As we were driving to the hospital many thoughts were churning around in my head. They were all of a positive nature mind you, but I knew the next time we would be heading home, there would be three of us.
Minutes after birth
After checking in to the hospital and Anna was settled in the delivery ward, I went to get a coffee. As I sat in the canteen sipping my piping hot Starbucks, an enormous smile came across my face, I was about to become a dad. This was a day I waited a very long time for and with Gods help it was about to happen very soon. I remembered how we read the parenting books, found a lot of answers to questions on Google but I quickly realised that the answers to the many fears I now had, were going to be answered on the fly.
We had a great nurse looking after proceedings in the delivery ward. She continuously monitored Anna and our impending new arrivals progress. Our great friend Beth also came by for moral support and funnily enough the time seemed to pass by quickly. The contractions were not close enough to warrant having the doctor come by just yet but we knew it would not last forever. Every now and again we would hear the cries of a new born baby who had just been delivered in another room and we knew our time was not faraway. Each cry would bring a happy tear to my eye thinking of our moment which was about to happen.
I stayed in contact with friends and family through Facebook and by text and we had a lot of support, for which we were eternally grateful. At around 5.30pm the doctors came by to see how Anna was doing. Now we had been to see them over the past 7 months at their clinic and they along with their staff were terrific people. Sometimes you meet professional people in life who seem to go that bit extra, well these people certainly did. They joked about whether the child would come out with a mo-hawk. They even sat on the bed with Anna for a photograph. Anyway they left and the next three hours passed by as Suzanne and I took turns going down for coffee while the other sat with Anna.
Now in all serious situations like the one we were in, there has to be a funny story to tell. Ours was no exception. Anna’s mother (Mrs B as I call her) was determined to be there. Now this lady could write a book about the struggles in life with her illness and for her to get anywhere is a terrible struggle. We had decided to let her know gradually about Anna’s progress as to not having her waiting in the hospital and us worrying about her, when all our efforts had to be concentrated on looking after Anna. Suzanne and I seemed to have done a good job informing her of progress by phone throughout the day but at around 8.30pm Suzanne went for a coffee and who was in the foyer? Yes, Mrs B. She came through the door of Anna’s room like something out of the Dukes of Hazard knocking over a tray and all I could do was laugh. She turned the scooter on a 180, stopped suddenly, faced Anna and had a look on her face as if to say “OK, we are all set to go. I am here”. She even brought the tinniest of cameras with her which was like something James Bond would use.We found her a spot in the room which was behind me for the delivery, as we didn’t want to turn this into a reality TV show. The nurse did tell us that she has done deliveries in the past and you could sell seats to it, the amount of extra family that were in the room.
At approx 10.45pm we knew we were getting close. The doctor was sent for and as they say, things were about to get real. I gave Anna a kiss and told her I loved her as I did throughout the day and all I could do was reassure her of my support but she was the one who was going to through the delivery, not me. She had been tremendous throughout the day and her time was now near. She was about to become a mother.
Dr Lewis turned up at 11.20 and the serious business had begun. I do remember a friend of mine some weeks previously asking me would I be present for the birth and I said yes. He advised, having three kids of his own, to stay away from the business end of things. Once the moment begun though I wanted to witness the miracle of birth first hand. So with Suzanne on one side of Anna, me on the other and Mrs B safely parked in the corner we were all set.
- Mommy and Baby Liam
Rather than go into the more private moments, let me summarize by saying Anna was fantastic and worked incredibly well with the doctor. There was to be one more funny moment however before Liam’s grand entrance. At one point Mrs B, who we thought was behind proceedings, pulled out her camera and reached around me to take a photo of Anna. Now let me just say there are certain things one does not want their mother taking photographs of and this was one of those things. The look on Anna’s face was priceless as she looked at the doctor then her mother then the doctor again as if to say “What the…..?”
The moment was almost upon us and at 12.18am Wed the 8th of June, Liam Salvatore Frattaroli made his long awaited entrance into this world. For once in my life I was speechless. Anna had a smile across her face like she just won the lottery and in fact she did. She was now the mother of a beautiful son and when the doctor handed Liam to her to hold for the first time, well that was a moment that will live with me for a very long time. I got the chance to cut his umbilical cord which funnily enough was quite tough and then the nurse took him over to a little table to weigh him and clean him up. He weighed in at 8lbs 4 oz and 21 inches long. I could not stop looking at him and when Anna and I both got our first moment together with him, we knew we had created something beautiful and precious. From this moment on our own priorities in life would take a back seat as we were charged with looking after and shaping Liam’s life from here on out. We both had waited a long time in our lives for this moment to happen and we were definitely up to the challenge and responsibility handed to us. Mrs B got to hold her newest grandchild as did Suzanne, her nephew. Many generations of Anna’s family in one room was a real treat.
- A very proud Dad
The miracle of birth is incredible and when you add a love between the two people who created it and their families into the mix, you create something oh so beautiful………………………….
Ciao
T
Posted by Tony F on Feb 2, 2010 in
Uncategorized Tattoo’s were something that never bothered me one way or the other for most of my life. Now my brother has the world of them and they are class but for me I always thought if I was ever going to get one done it was going to be a “Tattoo” and have some meaning in my life. So the other day I took the plunge and this is the outcome.
When I posted it on Twitter/Facebook some people asked me the meaning, if any behind it. So here it is.
Firstly the design comes loosely from the Bon Jovi logo. Actually Anna picked it out. As an individual who always wears his heart on his sleeve I wanted to start there. So the heart symbolizes the way I live my life, honest and open. The text is taking from a Motley Crue song “Home Sweet Home”. This song was beautifully penned by Nikki Sixx during during some very dark days indeed. They actually sum me up 100% too. In case you cannot read them they are as follows:
“My Hearts like an open book for the whole world to read, sometimes nothing keeps me together at the seams”
My life is wide open and by choice might I add. When I do or say something I do so in the knowledge that its completely out there. A lot of times I get hurt for being like that, but thats me and I aint going to change now. In fact I dont want to change either. There have been times when I felt everything was lost and gone and no matter what I did I was falling to pieces. I used to feel the sheer fabric of my being was coming apart and nothing could keep me together. So these lyrics are so apt for me.
The wings at the top of the heart represent my belief in my Guardian Angel who looks after me on a daily basis. Her name is Cliona and she has been in heaven over three years now having passed from this life at the very young age of sixteen. I have written a blog about her in the past and if you have not already read it, take a few moments and click here to take you back to it. http://www.tonyfrattaroli.com/?p=579
The cross was used for my belief and faith in God. Please let me add that this is not in a bible bashing way. Trust me I am as mad as the next guy. But when the chips are down, something had to work. He looked after me and guided people, places and things into my life. The reason for having it go through the heart was to symbolize when my heart ached and I thought it was breaking, he stepped in and prevented it from happening.
Finally the glow at the back of the cross symbolizes a new bright dawn for me. This is one that I have found and I am determined not to let go down any more. This I attribute to my self belief and determination as an individual to keep going and keep rising along with the support of family and friends. Its hard to keep me down. It is also a new and bright beginning with my new found love Anna. She has been a heaven sent and I love her so much and I am blessed to have her in my life.
So there you have it folks a boring ole blog about a tattoo. Oh yeah a big shout out to Taylor aka @sneaker_whore at The Axiom Tattoo Studio. This guy is not only an incredible artist but a gent as well. Nice one!
The next one (tattoo) is lined up already as picked by herself!
Ciao……
T.
Posted by Tony F on Jan 20, 2010 in
Uncategorized Sometimes we can get too caught up in what may have been and what is about to come in the future. This causes a terrible amount of pain and strain as we seek to try to find answers for our past and wonder what lies ahead. One of my failings as an individual is my impulsiveness. My quick to react to a situation and my desire to please and be pleased all in the second the thought comes to me. But you know what, I aint going to change and let me tell you why. God created us all and when he created me,I believe he did so with the gifts I inherited. One of those is my impulsiveness but the difference is that I need to use it in a positive manner. I also believe in living for today and this has come about slowly but surely. Things are thrown in front of us as tests but we always seem to lock in on the negative things and ask why and a lot of times we have that right. But when something comes along that is right and correct and in many instances we love it, then lets embrace it and enjoy the moment. Life can be difficult enough without turning our back on positive and great things that enter our lives.
So for now, this second, this minute and this moment lets hone in on the positives that exists and lets try and deal positively with the negative stuff and live for today and for this moment.
You know who you are for making me see that and having a massive influence on my life. Thanks for coming into my life and I love you dearly.
Ciao…..
T.
Posted by Tony F on Dec 20, 2009 in
Uncategorized If there is one thing that is fundamental in any sales position it is product knowledge. This is probably the single most important thing that the sales person needs to understand and have nailed 100%. The days of bluffing are long behind us. We also need to be mindful that the customer does not always know what they want. Sales training from the employer is paramount but it surprises me as to how many times people get this wrong. Do employers think its not important? Do they think the sales rep will know all about the product they are selling before they sell it? If they answer yes to any of the aforementioned then they will have problems.
I was in a mobile phone store yesterday and I asked a relatively simple question. The assistant looked at me as if I had six heads. He had that “confused” look on his face and was hoping against hope that I would simply go away as quickly as I came into the store. He started to tap at the computer which is always a good decoy. For all I know he could have been on Twitter. Long story short, he could not answer me but directed me to a telephone number that might be able to help. It didnt and I left the store annoyed.
If companies want to increase revenues especially in the recession, then they must train and give the knowledge to their sales team. Remember too that up-selling is very important and the one thing the customer comes in for could turn out to be three, if they have the knowledge. It is as simple as that.
I wonder how many will?
Ciao,
T.
Posted by Tony F on Nov 26, 2009 in
Uncategorized One of the biggest fails in business today is the whole area of Customer Service. It is an area that in my opinion so many people get wrong. By people I mean ALL employees who are customer facing. Once you deal with a customer in any shape or form you have an obligation to serve them as best you possibly can and in the best interest of your employer. It will also reflect on you as a person and this is equally important.
Customers like to think that they are the most important person in the world when they have a complaint to make or a product to be sold. And you know what, we should treat them like so. How many times have you called a company with a complaint only to be put on hold or to be dealt with by someone who basically could not give a damn. When this happens it irritates us and it damages the reputation of the company. The other thing that Customer Service people don’t realise is, that if they deal with people in a bad mannered way they run the risk of losing that customer for future business. In todays economic climate this is a no no.
We all have an obligation to serve the customer properly and make sure we retain their business.
As the old saying goes “The customer is always right”
Ciao…..
T.
